See - Feel - choose

SEE – FEEL – CHOOSE is a shared language that helps adults and children talk about the emotional impact of what they see online and through technology.

It is designed to support sense-making, rather than rushing towards solutions.

The framework helps slow conversations down, build shared understanding, and support thoughtful next steps, with adults staying alongside children throughout.

 What am I noticing?

This step invites children to pause and reflect on what has caught their attention,  online, through technology, or via information shared by others.

It supports adults to understand what a child has been exposed to, creating space to listen and explore before responding.

What’s happening inside me because of that?

This step invites children to notice their emotional and physical responses — such as worry, excitement, confusion, pressure, fear or curiosity.

Children can experience the same content very differently. This part of the framework helps adults and children acknowledge those differences, without judgement or assumption, and recognise that emotional responses are information worth paying attention to.

Not having the right words straight away is okay. Feelings can be mixed, unclear, or change over time.

What might help right now — with support if needed?

This step focuses on gentle, supported movement rather than quick fixes.

CHOOSE does not mean coping alone or making the “right” decision.
It creates space for adults and children to think together about what might be helpful in that moment.

• reassurance or grounding
• talking things through further
• taking a pause or setting boundaries
• practical action
• involving additional support

CHOOSE helps adults decide when to hold, when to guide, and when to seek further support, responding thoughtfully rather than reactively.

SEE – FEEL – CHOOSE is designed to support understanding first, so that any next steps are informed, proportionate and supportive.

SEE – FEEL – CHOOSE helps adults to:

• listen before guiding
• tolerate uncertainty without rushing to fix
• respond proportionately
• notice patterns over time
• maintain safeguarding responsibility

It helps children to:

• put words to experiences
• understand emotional impact
• feel supported rather than judged
• develop agency with adults, not instead of them

A note on discomfort: Moving away from “fixing” can feel uncomfortable. This framework intentionally creates a pause before action, not to avoid responsibility, but to ensure that responses are thoughtful, proportionate and supportive. That pause is where understanding grows.

SEE – FEEL – CHOOSE is not:

• a  therapeutic or clinical intervention
• a diagnostic or assessment tool
• a behaviour-management strategy
• a resilience or “coping alone” model

It does not replace safeguarding procedures, pastoral systems, or professional support.

Moving away from “fixing” can feel uncomfortable. This framework intentionally creates a pause before action, not to avoid responsibility, but to ensure that responses are thoughtful, proportionate and supportive. That pause is where understanding grows. 

Questions often come up about how this framework fits within safeguarding, pastoral support and different age groups.

[Read the FAQs →]